Well, as I was walking into Starbucks, I saw another gentleman making his way to the door. I arrived at the door first and opened it for him and let him enter ahead of me. He replied with his thanks and then let me go ahead of him to the line first. As I placed my order and was preparing to pay, the gentleman interrupted the exchange between the cashier and me, stating he was taking care of mine and his own. I looked at him and said “Really?”. His reply was something along the lines of “I always appreciate when someone is kind to me and I want to return the same to you since you were so kind. There is not enough kindness in this world.” I promptly agreed with him and told him how much I appreciated his actions. We later exchanged names (his was Rocket…cool name, right?), shook hands and parted ways.

These are the types of events in life I look forward to and which make this world so much better in so many ways. There needs to be more of these types of encounters and experiences. If we were all doing something like this at least once per day, what type of difference do you think that would make?

Take some time today and do something kind for someone else…even if it is just opening the door for someone…you may be surprised how it makes you feel even in just that small moment…and you may experience some reciprocal kindness, only making the experience that much better.

Hooray for karma…

Recently, I have had to experience a few situations which caused me to think more in depth about how, we…you…I…deal with those irritating, stressful and ‘angerful’ situations we encounter. What do you ‘do’ with them? Do you fly off the handle, throw things, yell, scream, get all negative, blame others, make someone else’s day bad just because yours is…what is it you..we…do?

Case in point…one of my situations was that I had my laptop stolen. Without going into many details, it was a rather sticky situation involving friends and their friends and was not your run of the mill theft (if one could categorize theft as such). Not only was my laptop stolen, but so was my external USB hard drive with 300+GB of music, pictures of my boys, lots of data going back to 2001 (including the files when I had my own business) and some other very sensitive personal data. Needless to say, I was quite upset. Mostly about the data and less about the laptop. I had to make a decision at the moment I realized the theft had happened. I needed to realize that at this point, I was entirely out of control of the situation. There was really nothing I could do except call the police, file the report and hope for the best (which was not very good as there was no evidence). I had no way of tracking this person down, convincing them to ‘come clean’ or return it.

I had to embrace the situation. Accept it. Be at peace with it. There is actually a wonderful, calming peace which comes over in the moment you embrace pain, loss, change (confortable or uncomfortable) or any situation beyond your control. Conversely, if you rail against that seemingly bad situation, what are you going to accomplish? Add to the ulcers already forming in your gut? Grow a few more grey hairs? Act like an ass in public or in front of friends/family? Throw that brand new iPhone or iPad across the room and then get even more pissed when you realize you will have to fork over more money to replace it? By engaging in these types of actions and behaviors, what are you actually accomplishing? I would argue, absolutely nothing at all, other than the obvious negative results from those associated negative actions.

When you embrace your fear, pain, loss and changes, you reach this place of peace…it is amazing really. It flies in the face of conventional or normal thinking. Don’t push those feelings away…pull them in close and embrace them…accept…fully experience them. In this way, we bring ourselves into that peace. When you do this it is not ignoring the pain…it is not wishing it away…it is not the cold, calculating response of those who rationalise it away. It is the acceptance of the fact you have no control whatsoever of the situation…it is beyond your grasp and you need to ride that wave.

You may experience more pain in the process. You may find a solution to the situation. You may see a positive outcome eventually. You may never see anything positive come out of it. Things may get worse and you now have four bad situations to deal with rather than one.

It doesn’t matter. You have embraced the situation and accepted it and in doing so, you remove from yourself the power it has over you. You are now free to think, feel and emote the way you choose to, rather than the situation controlling you and dictating your reactions. You are in control rather than it controlling you. You are now in a place where you can make rational decisions…thoughtful decisions….clear thinking and feeling. You are able to see positive and beneficial outcomes from this seemingly negative situation.

So I challenge and encourage you, in your next ‘bad’ situation…the one that makes you want to rant and rave in frustration, throw your expensive iPhone, or make someone else feel bad so you feel better…stop, contemplate and embrace the situation. Look at the fear, the pain, the loss, the change in the eye…and then smile and say ‘Today, I welcome you and everything you are bringing. I will learn from you and come out better as a result. You will not control me’. (I would suggest doing this in your head and not out loud when in public…I will accept no responsibility whatsoever if you do and end up locked up with a straight jacket on)

Do this and experience the amazing peace and calmness you will find and your ability to think clearly.

Trust me…I am not a doctor, but I play one in my own head…

I found this property on craigslist and instantly fell in love with it. There is so much character and charm to this place. It is a 1930′s bungalow, restored wonderfully. The doorknobs are still the original glass knobs, the floor molding is a foot high, all of the original heating floor grates are all in place. Plus, I have a kick-ass porch swing which I intend to use 80% of the time…basically, as much as I can, I will be out there, book in hand…

New House

Now comes the daunting task of trying to find the things I need to make it complete. As many of you know, I moved out here with only what I could fit in the back of my Forester…which meant no furniture whatsoever. Honestly, there is something so freeing and wonderful about starting with next to nothing. You are able to build around what you need. You are able to thoughtfully make decisions about the type of furniture, artwork, plants, rugs, layout, etc. which you want to have in your new place. It is a wonderful way to go when you do move to keep things simple and minimalistic…such a low stress level.

Obviously, by boys are so very excited and we spent an hour tonight at the place showing them their new bunk bed (disassembled) and a couch/recliner ‘thingy’. I bought some ice cream and ice cream sandwiches and we had a ‘new house’ party (basically, them running around and being crazy little boys…I can neither confirm nor deny I was a participant in said banshee-like behavior). We had a blast!

There are so many things which I must get accomplished in this new place, but I am not worried. I have plenty of time and my stress level is low. However, tomorrow I must find a mattress set for me so I can start sleeping there and also for the boys so they can start staying with me overnight!

So without further adieu, I present, “The House”

For my social life, I have dived right into the area.  I joined the incredibly large Triangle Patriots Fans meetup group with well over 300 members…last night we had more than 200 show up to the bar for the NE-Denver game…it was crazy!  Today, in a couple of hours in fact, I start playing kickball with WAKA once again…the NC Freeze winter league…I can’t wait to do this!  Although it pales in comparison, I have re-discovered my coffee shop here in Raleigh, The Morning Times.  It is no Victrola, but I will become a regular here especially with my certification exam coming up.  I have yet to truly discover the local music scene here, but I did attend one concert at The Pour House in Raleigh…great venue and I look forward to more concerts there and in the area.

I had some further adventures this week.  My brand new Macbook Air, along with the rest of the contents of my messenger bag (and the bag itself) was stolen from the place I am staying.  Thursday night was quite the scary evening as I had an external hard drive in there with lots of personal information, along with 300+ GB of music and plenty of pictures of my boys from over the years.  Thankfully, it was returned later that evening unscathed except for my account being deleted and a new one created by the person hoping to assume ownership.  I am so thankful the person did the right thing and I lost nothing…things could have gone much differently.

I have started looking for places to live with my boys (not as a result of the situation above, just because I need a place for me and my boys).  Lots of great places here in Raleigh, particularly once in the historic Oakwood neighborhood…a great 1930′s bungalow which has been renovated quite nicely…and it has a great backyard!  I hope to be finding something soon…and then begins the fun time of finding furniture!

Despite the above mentioned minor setback, I am settling in here quite nicely and am looking forward to creating new experiences and establishing new relationships and community.  It is exciting and I am so very happy with my life and the way things are unfolding.

Look later this evening for a post having to do with stolen laptops, stressful situations and remaining calm within, backing up hard drives and learning lessons…

this is pure happiness…

Well, turns out there was a bit of a mix up and I was not able to see my boys today.  Just a small amount of miscommunication between Lori and I.  They are arriving back in Raleigh, from NH and VA, tomorrow.  So I will now be seeing my boys, tomorrow, around dinner time.  First day at the new job and then seeing my boys and surprising them.  Sounds like a great start to the work week!

in reference to my earlier post about change…very appropriate

My time in Asheville was wonderful.  Just like Seattle, that is another town I could find myself settling down in.  The people there are so friendly, accepting and open-minded.  I wish I had been able to spend more time there and meet more new people.  I walked around town randomly for a while, popping into various shops and just being curious and then visited a nice vegan cafe for a ‘philly cheesesteak’. yum.

For my evening festivities, I met up with a fellow couch surfer.  What was interesting about Shelly, is she is originally from Seattle and was involved in the Couchsurfing community there.  We had never met before, but we both knew a lot of the same people.  We hung out the rest of the night and I was able to meet some of her friend…really great people even from the short time I spent with them.  I was so happy to have spent NYE with a fellow CS’er and had a great time!

The next day I headed out of Asheville for the final four hours of my trip (after a little yummy breakfast at Early Girl eatery of course).  By the way, if you ever stay in Asheville, NC, definitely consider staying at Sweet Peas Hostel.  This was absolutely the best hostel I have ever stayed in…and, quite frankly, better than any hotel!

Honestly, driving back into Raleigh was a strange experience for me.  It feels strange to know I know live here rather than Raleigh.  I really do miss Seattle, but I am still excited to start my new life here and with my boys.  Today, I finally get to see them after a whole year (the last time I had them near me was xmas 2010).  It will be so wonderful to have Josiah and Zeke back in my arms again…words cannot describe the emotions I am feeling in regards to this.  I am in love with my boys…always have been, always will be.  They are amazing little men…

Thanks to everyone who followed my blog during my trip.  It was truly overwhelming and humbling seeing the comments and when looking at my ‘site stats’ seeing the amount of unique visitors I have had.  I will most certainly keep updating this blog.  I have missed doing so.  I enjoy writing when I am in the right state of mind (sometimes, writing just eludes me), so please subscribe or place my site in your reader and you will know whenever I update it.

Again, I had a really uneventful travelling day.  Not a whole lot to see and by the time I got to the Smokey Mountains, it was dark.  So again, no pictures.  My apologies.

I am really starting to anticipate seeing my boys now…just a couple short days.  I can’t wait to wrap them up in my arms in one huge hug!

I have mixed feelings though.  Not about seeing them, but just realizing how much I already miss Seattle and all my friends.  In fact, at one point while driving today, I saw some cloud formations in the distance and immediately thought I saw the Cascades off in the distance…then my heart sank.  I am sure I will get over it eventually, but Seattle and all my friends…you are sorely missed.

That is all…for now…

This morning was nice and relaxed…spending time at a really cool coffe and cupcake shop, Cuppies & Joe.  The staff here was really friendly and the cupcake I had was most excellent…such a great breakfast!

The hostel I am staying at tonight is a generally cozy place; very clean and well organized.  I paid a measly $15 for one night.  In return, I simply need to respect the space and other travelers, take care of one or two communal chores and clean up after myself.  I am in a shared room with about 4 bunks.  There is only one other person staying in this room presently and should stay that way for the remainder of the night.  I could have opted for a private room, but that is more money and in my mind, somewhat negates some of the greater benefits of staying at a hostel and experiencing communal living.  However, I am not sure how much I will experience of this as I am really tired and want to get some decent sleep tonight.  We shall see if the other travelers decide to stop reading at some point.

Unfortunately, I do not have any pictures to share today.  There was really nothing of note to take pictures of.  Sorry.  I think I should have some pictures tomorrow once I get to Asheville and also on the drive there.

Until tomorrow…

Anyway, I was contemplating the remainder of my trip this morning.  Already I am off to a late start, which is absolutely fine.  However, I needed to somewhat change my plans from stopping in Nashville and then Charlotte for NYE.  It was going to be 10-11 hours of drive time to Nashville today and I did not have a CS host yet.  So I decided to stop in Memphis and then spend two days, including NYE in Asheville, NC.  I have always loved Asheville and I can’t think of a better place to spend NYE this year as I feel it is somewhat a mini-Seattle in the middle of the south (very artsy and college type town).

I will be staying in Memphis at Pilgrim House Hostel.  This place is located in a church and seems like a great place to stay! http://www.pilgrimhouse.org/Pilgrim_House/Home.html

I will be staying in Asheville at  Sweet Peas Hostel.  Really looking forward to this place as it is in the heart of downtown Asheville and close to everything.  http://www.sweetpeashostel.com/

Back to the point of this posting…change is awesome!  Embrace it.  Accept it.  Welcome it into your life.  Even if it is a negative change.  Make it positive.  Find the good.  We only grow and expand our lives when we embrace change.  Things become less stressful.  We have time to appreciate the small and beautiful things in life. For instance, I could have flipping out because of my sporadic and non-concrete plans regarding my last few days of travel.  However, it was so much more freeing and relaxing to just accept that I had nothing solid and to create solutions and options for myself.  That is all…I am off my soapbox now.

Honestly, my road trip just keeps getting better and better…I am so glad I am doing this as I really needed a vacation like this…

Also, need to give more praise for Jessica, my CS host here in OkC.  She was a perfect and fun host and even let me stay in the morning even though she had to go off to work.  Thanks Jessica…you are awesome!